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Spending money to avoid conflict or gain social acceptance can ruin your finances. A little self-reflection and benefits can help make a difference.
By Juli Fraga and Connie Chang
Hailey Magee paid for drinks when she went out with friends, bought expensive dinners for loved ones, and footed the bill for dates. During the holiday season, Ms. Magee bought lavish gifts, even on a tight budget.
“I felt overwhelmed and stressed,” she said.
Ms. Magee, 31, a qualified life coach and “Stop People Pleasing: And Find Your Power,” said she felt a “compulsion to pay for things. “
While others benefited from Magee’s generosity, it put a monetary strain on her. Magee, who lives in Seattle, would make sacrifices on her own expenses, such as putting off buying a new dining table or a full set of tableware. It also estimated clients for its training services.
“I give up,” he says.
Behavior like this is a classic example of “people pleasing.” And when it comes to your finances, it can show up in various ways. Perhaps you tip generously, lend others money or buy your children expensive clothes when you can’t afford to. And while being a “yes” person may be seen as kindness, it often “comes at a cost,” said Alex Melkumian, a psychologist in Los Angeles.
Magee said he had spent thousands of dollars on others, leaving less for his savings and retirement accounts.
Corie Lowden, host of “The People Pleaser Podcast,” has a habit of trying to make others happy — even when it hurts her financial health. Ms. Lowden said she had once paid $80 for a bouquet of balloons for her grandfather’s birthday. When it was time to pay, she learned that helium would cost extra, but she spent the money anyway.
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